Nervous Around Women? 4 Steps To Overcome Nervousness

Standing at the magazine rack thumbing through Cosmo, she has the most gorgeous face you've ever seen. Her hair is silky brown. Her skin looks so radiant and so incredibly soft. You would be on top of the world if you could pick her this girl up.

You feel the fear deep in your gut.

You know that even if you got your balls in gear and went for it, you wouldn't know what to say. You feel so nervous and fumbly that you would reject yourself if you were her. So you shy away from even approaching her in the first place.

Does this situation sound familiar? If so, keep reading.

The first thing for you to realize is that all guys get anxiety about approaching women. I know I certainly do.

But what separates you (and me) from the rest of the guys is...

What You Do About Your Fear.

Most guys let fear paralyze them... not just about chicks, but about other things in their life like their career... which is why, unfortunately, most guys will never find the success that they want.

First, look at where your fear comes from. The problem is inside of you. It's not with the chicks.

If you're thinking about rejection, then that means you're making your approaches with a certain outcome in mind (I'm just guessing, but I think if you're like most guys, your goal is getting chicks attracted to you so that you can get laid).

Try this instead... approach without having any expectations. No goals.

Let me tell you about a problem I used to have. I'm inclined to be an introvert, as I discuss in my book, "How to Become an Alpha Male."

So to overcome my shyness, I would force myself to chat up everybody, no matter who they were... hot girls, ugly girls, fat girls, old people, men, children, people walking dogs, etc.

I would talk about neutral topics with them, nothing to do with picking up chicks.

The net result from all of that was I became really good at approaching people.

After that, however, I made a mistake. I said to myself, "Since I'm so good at approaching people and have become an outgoing person, why am I wasting time talking to anyone other than hot chicks?"

So then I limited the people I talked to... and my anxiety about talking to random women swept over me once again. It was as if I'd never had all that practice chatting up strangers in the first place.

At that point I realized it was because I was outcome-dependent. Because I had thoughts like "I'm going to try to lay this chick" in my mind... before I'd even opened my mouth to say "hi"... and so I would crash and burn. It sucked.

Here's something I want you to try. Whenever you go out, talk to three people, but do it just for practice. Don't do it for real.

Because it's just for practice, don't limit yourself to just talking to hot women. In general, I've found that elderly people (both males and females) and fat women are easy to talk to.

If it helps, set up a time limit for your practice interactions, like that you'll talk to the person for 30 seconds and then you'll get out of the conversation. (Say something like, "Well, I'm on my way to meeting a friend. Good chatting with you." And then walk away without making a big deal of it.)

Once you've done your practices and feel warmed up, then you can chat up hot chicks. Again though, do it without having any sort of sex-related outcome in mind. For example, if a chick passes by you in a hallway, just say, "Hey, I need a quick female opinion on something." (Then ask about something that you genuinely want a female opinion on.)

Remember though: have no outcome in mind. So it doesn't matter if the chick responds rudely.

In fact, when you reach a point that you've chatted up lots of women, you'll find that eventually rude responses on their part mean nothing. You'll have an attitude of "ha, how original... I've had tons of women give me that exact same 'clever' rude comment."

I've been rejected hideously, time and time again. One chick screamed "Go away!" at me before I could even get out my initial sentence.

Another time I thought it was amusing when I approached a group of two girls, just for practice, and right after I said "hey," they both turned their backs on me in unison, as if they were synchronized dancers!

Now I just look back on all of that and laugh.

My point is that the more you approach, the more you'll reach a level where you notice that most people act in the same, predictable ways. It'll bore you rather than cause you anxiety.

Think of it as trying to build a house. You put down one brick at a time and cement it. Brick, cement. Brick, cement. It'll take a long time, but eventually, the walls will be up (which means you've finished the hard part).

To get a bit more psychological, there's really no such thing as "being nervous." You don't "get nervous," like it's some kind of flu virus that invades your body.

All feelings of nervousness come from within. You have a certain series of thought processes that you go through. You say things to yourself. (When you think thoughts like, "I would reject myself," it sets you up for failure!) You picture the chicks rejecting you. You feel tense in your body. And so on.

So what you can do to break this is to identify it for what it is.

Notice your negative thoughts and change them. Instead of thinking, "Oh my God, this chick is going to act like a bitch to me because I fumble my words"... think, "It's awesome that I'm making this approach, because if this chick rejects me, that means I've gotten her out of the way and I'm one step closer to finding my dream girl."

Notice where you feel tense in your body, and then let your muscles relax in those areas. For me, I feel tense in my jaw and face when I'm nervous. So when I relax my jaw and facial muscles, it alleviates a lot of my tension.

I'll wrap it up for you by concluding with this advice:

1) Be social for the sake of being social. Nothing else.

2) Remember that the only way to get over your fear is by doing the thing you fear. The more you do it, the easier it gets, because your attitude about the experiences will become, "Been there, done that, it's no big deal."

3) Recognize your bad thoughts and force yourself to replace them with good ones.

4) Ease the physical tension you have in your body when you feel nervous.

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Learn The Art Of Flirting to Increase Your Chance of Getting The Girl

Many people believe that the art of flirting is something that you either have or you don't. The art of flirting can be mastered by anyone. All it takes is practice.
The first thing to know about the art of flirting is that it s something, which can be done by anyone. It doesn't require you to have a sporty physique, or handsome, chiselled features. The art of flirting emphasises the qualities that are unique to you and teaches you how to make the most of these. In this way, the art of flirting begins from the inside.

So what can you do to make sure others know you are a fantastic person? You need to understand how to use non-verbal communication to flirt successfully. The eyes are the window to the soul and they are also an excellent starting point for learning how to flirt. Have you ever glanced around a room and then suddenly a stranger catches your gaze? What is it about you that caught and held someone's attention, even if only momentarily? People like people who are attracted to them. Flirting is a skill that harnesses the many different types of gaze. The routine of making eye contact, holding it, breaking it, and then engaging again is one of the most basic yet effective methods in your flirting arsenal. This lets the person know you want to flirt with them, and you'll learn how to determine if they are interested from the reaction they give. You can also take this to the next level to let them know you are having 'impure' thoughts about them! Tell them you are looking to 'devour' them by holding their gaze even longer and breaking only to glance up and down their body.

Eye contact is obviously crucial, but should be used along with other kinds of body language. Positioning your body in such a manner that shows you are open to communication is crucial to the art of flirting. Flirting is a combination of being able to read their signals whilst also revealing your intentions. There's no need to think of flirting as something which other people do. You just need to be taught the key skills and how to practice them. Then go out and have some fun!

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The Alpha Male System - A Review

I've had a lot of people emailing me, asking me to do a full review of The Alpha Male System. Is this just yet another useless system and waste of your hard earned cash, or can you actually become the type of guy that effortlessly attracts women?

First thing.... because I KNOW you are wondering... this is NOT going to be just another one of those B.S. reviews. Why? Because there's no point. I know you're a smart cookie, and you'll see through any B.S. straight away, so I'd be wasting both your time and my time (and I really hate wasting my time).

I had a long think about how I was going to do this review. In total, the book is 159 pages, so how should I structure it? What are the things that you are looking to know before you can decide if it's worth parting with your money...

The thing that ALWAYS got me about most e-books was the 'pitch page'. You know, the bit where everything sounds too good to be true, but sucks you in because it gives you hope! So, that's where I am going to start. I'm going to look at the claims on the pitch page, and give you more detail (and my opinion) on exactly how these are tackled in the book.

The 7 Step Seduction System that takes you from saying “hello” to a new woman…to sharing orgasms in bed with her… in just one evening! Page 101

Boy, that's one big claim! Let me be honest. This was the line in the pitch that was the main reason for me wanting to buy this book. I mean... who wouldn't want to know 7 steps to getting a women into bed?!

Well, first thing I did when I downloaded the e-book was - Yup! You guessed it! - flicked straight to page 101. I read the seven steps. Frowned. Read them again. This wasn't exactly the 'magic' I was looking for. Like a lot of things, when you read it, it all sounds like common sense and straightforward.

Then, I went to the start of the chapter and read the whole chapter to get the 7 step system in context. NOW it was all starting to look like there was something special here. It even has many pages on WHERE to find women (I'm not talking about ads in phoneboxes guys!) This was very useful to me. There are the obvious ones, such as 'work' and 'weddings', right out to ones I hadn't considered before such as 'charity events'.

Now, I'm going to give you the first step in this 7-step system. Hopefully it won't get me into trouble, but it will allow you to empathise with the initial disappointment I felt on reading the list straight away:

1. You will walk by a woman and have a quick, neutral conversation.

See what I mean? Where's the magic? Where's the voodoo that's going to let me put a spell on these women...

My disappointment didn't last long, once I started reading the book properly. There is so much detail to back this up. Like I was saying, the bit on WHERE to meet women is a gem. And it's over 10 pages long! Of course, you need to approach women - get close to women - if you are going to take things further (unless you're into all that cyberspace crap of course). Sounds simple, but for most guys like me - like you - the biggest hurdle is approaching women.

"What do I say?"
"What if she rejects me?"
or...
"What do I do if she does actually like me!?" (panic sets in...)

All these points are covered and answered in some depth.

Avoid these 3 behaviors and you’ll immediately become so seductive that women will actually feel themselves getting “wetter” around you! Page 44

What are these 3 behaviours? Well, I'll give you a starter for 10 - the first two are 'bragging' and 'putting yourself down'. The third one is more subtle, but - I think - more powerful than the other two put together. I'm not going to reveal it here, because it would be unethical. If you really take these on board and learn to exhibit the behaviours, then yes, women are attracted to you and will look at you in a different light. In fact, not just with your sex life, but your power at work will increase too. I put into practice the techniques in this book, and it really helped my confidence at work. In turn this changed the way people viewed me.

With women, it's had a MASSIVE impact. The first day I downloaded the book, I just skimmed a few of the sections. That very night, I chatted up a girl at a bar in town and I KNEW it was leading somewhere. The only thing that stopped us was her boyfriend butting in after 10 minutes! I laughed to myself. This guy came back to his girl and was seriously spraying his scent all around her. LOL. Had implementing the techniques in the Alpha Male System really made me appear such a threat..?

I don't normally gush over things like this, so I won't make an exception here. Remember - I said you'll spot B.S. a mile off. This book is good though. It's well written and very easy to read (helped greatly by John's writing style).

Do women now fall at my feet, begging me to pleasure them? Honestly, no.

Do I feel more confident and powerful in my life, and do women look at me with undertones of sexual desire and interest? Well, I have to say they do. The techniques in the Alpha Male System if followed (it's all about action, guys!) will improve your life. You WILL improve yourself, your stature, your confidence and, in turn, change the way people think about you. You WILL gain more respect. You WILL get more interest from women, and with the information in this book you WILL then know what to do once you have a woman's interest. The book leads you every step of the way. In fact, the last section is like a sex manual - packed with incredibly hot tips on how to DRIVE YOUR GIRL WILD in bed! There's stuff in there I'd never heard of, and I can certainly vouch for the fact that it works. Boy does it work....


Give the Alpha Male System a go. You really have nothing to lose, because John offers you a money back guarantee if you are not totally satisfied. If you want to know more before you buy, just post below and I'll try and answer your question.

Something BIG is coming!

Guys - you are just gonna love what I'm revealing later this week. I only recommend stuff when I absolutely believe in it and it completely works, and this is definitely one of those things.

How does this sound?

• Have influence over anyone, and I mean anyone!
  
• Attract women like you never thought possible
  
• Compel people to do what you simply suggest
  
• Be top dog when it comes to negotiations
  
• Get people to buy more from you if you are in sales
  

Believe me, this will change your life. If you've ever been frustrated because you can't get people to do what you want, this will give you the skills to literally hypnotise anyone into following your lead.

I'll reveal more later this week. Grab my RSS feed to get notified immediately, as it really is one of those things you want to be first on board with.

Become The Alpha Male: Get the girl with mind control

Think about people you are drawn to; people you find attractive. What makes them stand out from the crowd and win both your attention and your affections? More than likely it's the way they act and the mood they portray. To become an alpha male you need to work on giving off the right aura. Once you have learned to do this, you will find a marked improvement in the way women and men look at you, which will have impact on your love life and career.

We all know what it's like when that person in the office or at school who is in a bad mood, and everyone tries their hardest to keep out of their way all day. It is so obvious when you think about it, but your mood completely determines what people think about you and how they interact with you (or, whether they interact with you at all!) So how do you change your mood and improve your sphere of influence to help you become an alpha male?

It is all mind over matter. Your mood is created entirely by the thoughts you are focusing on. If you are thinking about how much work you have to get through, how late you are going to be working tonight to finish that report for presentation tomorrow, or how badly that presentation or job interview went, then it is bound to have a negative impact on your mood. People will pick up on this, and well, you just won't be a fun guy to be around.

Take a few minutes at the start of each day to get yourself in the right frame of mind. Firstly, clear your mind through meditation, and then visualize your day where only great things happen. You might see yourself walking into the office or the school where you study, and people are shouting hello, and all the pretty girls are smiling coyly at you. Your boss or teacher then commends you on that fabulous report you submitted last week. The girl you've had the hots for passes by your desk, giving you her phone number and says 'Why don't you call me later...'

OK, so all that may sound somewhat far fetched, but enjoy the moment. These are your images you are creating, purely in your mind, so they need to be magnificent! I guarantee that just the act of thinking about these things will improve your mood which in turn will improve your interactions with people throughout the day which will then continue to improve your mood. Do you see where I'm coming from on this? It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In itself, this won't make you become an alpha male overnight, but improving your mood through positive thinking is an important trick to learn and part of your alpha male toolset you should use daily.

How Does A Man Attract A Woman

How does a man attract a woman? There is no big mystery in what's involved, but there are some key things you must do to increase your chances of attracting women. Not just any women either. Follow this advice and you will be able to attract the beautiful girls you always thought out of your league.

Here are 7 key factors I have used in attracting women:

• Be Confident
  There is a fine line between being confident and being cocky. Although there are time when being cocky could be an asset, in the beginning stages of a relationship or when you are trying to get the girl leave the cockiness at home. It will most likely attract the wrong kind of girl. Confidence is key for women. No woman wants a guy that always hangs his head and does not think much of himself. Being confident could just be keeping your chin up, not letting things get to you and believing in yourself.



• Be considerate and nice without getting stuck in the “friend” zone
  Lots of times guys get stuck in the “friend” zone and there is NO way to get out. Believe me, I have been there before and it sucked watching other guys go out with the girl I was trying to get. You can still be kind and considerate and open the door for her, compliment her on the way she looks, but definitely nothing further.



• Take care of yourself
  This goes without saying. Although women in general care more for what’s on a guy’s mind than what he looks like, staying in shape and taking care of yourself does not really hurt either. Think about it, would you want to date someone that did not take care of the way she looked? What I am talking about here is basic hygiene. Brush your teeth, shave regularly, comb your hair, get haircuts regularly, do your laundry, do I need to go on? Thought not.



• Have something to say
  There is a saying, small minds talk about others, average minds talk about current events, and great minds talk about ideas. Always have something to say. Talk about the weather, what’s in the news and more importantly ask more about her. One of the things I have found is that women like to talk about themselves and love a guy who will listen. And not just hear them, but actually listen, ponder it and respond. Always have something to say and always listen to what she is saying.



• Be funny
  No one likes a stick in the mud. You don’t have to be a comedian, but be able to laugh at yourself. Women like a guy with a sense of humor. If you look at any of your friends who are not that great looking, I can almost guarantee they have a great personality or are really funny.



• Control Yourself
  Man this is one I have seen a lot. Now I will admit there are some women that like a guy that gets angry and gets into fights, but again, these are not the women we are going to try to attract. Show that you have some class and self control, don’t blow up at the waiter if he forgets your water and don’t get drunk and start streaking in the middle of the bar.



• Be sociable
  Women like a guy that can talk to their friends. One of the biggest green lights for a woman s when her friends approve of him. Don’t get along wither her friends and you will likely be just the stepping stone to the next guy.

I have just outlined some of the key factors I have used in attracting women. I will however say one last thing. One of my biggest wins has been to be myself, because at the end of the day if you pretend to be someone you are not, she will find out. So get out there and be patient, the right girl is waiting.

Dating Advice: Tip #1

Here's some free dating advice. We've all been there. You finally get that date you've been waiting for with the hot girl who you thought would never say 'yes', so what do you do? You reserve a table at the best restaurant in town, buy the expensive wine, send her flowers and lavish her with gifts.

A good friend of mine blew over one months salary on a girl in one week, just because he was so excited that he finally got that date with the girl he'd viewed from afar for months.

You can hardly blame the guy. Can you? Surely the woman is extremely appreciative of the attention, effort and money being lavished upon her? Well, after about 3 weeks she dumped him! Shocked?

Well, step back a little and let's see what signals you are giving to the woman. You may have had two or three dates so technically you hardly know each other. She's done nothing to really earn this, and yet you shower her with expensive gifts and dates in costly restaurants. She may even get a dozen roses just because... well, just because it's Wednesday! This reeks of desperation on the part of the male. You are saying "I know my value is less than yours, so I shall send you flowers and take you to the finest restaurants to compensate for this."

I know this goes against everything you've ever been taught and brought up to believe, but you really need to alter your mind-set. Lose the beta male mentality and become the alpha male.

Eventually, whether consciously or subconsciously, your date will find this desperation tedious and she'll move on (once you've been fleeced to the tune of several thousand of course).

One of the first steps in becoming the alpha male is to realise your own value. Get the mind-set of someone with a high social status. This may not come naturally at first, but it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Once you increase your self-esteem, others will look on you differently and with more respect, which in turn will boost your self-esteem further. Check the Alpha Male System for more on this.