Nervous Around Women? 4 Steps To Overcome Nervousness

Standing at the magazine rack thumbing through Cosmo, she has the most gorgeous face you've ever seen. Her hair is silky brown. Her skin looks so radiant and so incredibly soft. You would be on top of the world if you could pick her this girl up.

You feel the fear deep in your gut.

You know that even if you got your balls in gear and went for it, you wouldn't know what to say. You feel so nervous and fumbly that you would reject yourself if you were her. So you shy away from even approaching her in the first place.

Does this situation sound familiar? If so, keep reading.

The first thing for you to realize is that all guys get anxiety about approaching women. I know I certainly do.

But what separates you (and me) from the rest of the guys is...

What You Do About Your Fear.

Most guys let fear paralyze them... not just about chicks, but about other things in their life like their career... which is why, unfortunately, most guys will never find the success that they want.

First, look at where your fear comes from. The problem is inside of you. It's not with the chicks.

If you're thinking about rejection, then that means you're making your approaches with a certain outcome in mind (I'm just guessing, but I think if you're like most guys, your goal is getting chicks attracted to you so that you can get laid).

Try this instead... approach without having any expectations. No goals.

Let me tell you about a problem I used to have. I'm inclined to be an introvert, as I discuss in my book, "How to Become an Alpha Male."

So to overcome my shyness, I would force myself to chat up everybody, no matter who they were... hot girls, ugly girls, fat girls, old people, men, children, people walking dogs, etc.

I would talk about neutral topics with them, nothing to do with picking up chicks.

The net result from all of that was I became really good at approaching people.

After that, however, I made a mistake. I said to myself, "Since I'm so good at approaching people and have become an outgoing person, why am I wasting time talking to anyone other than hot chicks?"

So then I limited the people I talked to... and my anxiety about talking to random women swept over me once again. It was as if I'd never had all that practice chatting up strangers in the first place.

At that point I realized it was because I was outcome-dependent. Because I had thoughts like "I'm going to try to lay this chick" in my mind... before I'd even opened my mouth to say "hi"... and so I would crash and burn. It sucked.

Here's something I want you to try. Whenever you go out, talk to three people, but do it just for practice. Don't do it for real.

Because it's just for practice, don't limit yourself to just talking to hot women. In general, I've found that elderly people (both males and females) and fat women are easy to talk to.

If it helps, set up a time limit for your practice interactions, like that you'll talk to the person for 30 seconds and then you'll get out of the conversation. (Say something like, "Well, I'm on my way to meeting a friend. Good chatting with you." And then walk away without making a big deal of it.)

Once you've done your practices and feel warmed up, then you can chat up hot chicks. Again though, do it without having any sort of sex-related outcome in mind. For example, if a chick passes by you in a hallway, just say, "Hey, I need a quick female opinion on something." (Then ask about something that you genuinely want a female opinion on.)

Remember though: have no outcome in mind. So it doesn't matter if the chick responds rudely.

In fact, when you reach a point that you've chatted up lots of women, you'll find that eventually rude responses on their part mean nothing. You'll have an attitude of "ha, how original... I've had tons of women give me that exact same 'clever' rude comment."

I've been rejected hideously, time and time again. One chick screamed "Go away!" at me before I could even get out my initial sentence.

Another time I thought it was amusing when I approached a group of two girls, just for practice, and right after I said "hey," they both turned their backs on me in unison, as if they were synchronized dancers!

Now I just look back on all of that and laugh.

My point is that the more you approach, the more you'll reach a level where you notice that most people act in the same, predictable ways. It'll bore you rather than cause you anxiety.

Think of it as trying to build a house. You put down one brick at a time and cement it. Brick, cement. Brick, cement. It'll take a long time, but eventually, the walls will be up (which means you've finished the hard part).

To get a bit more psychological, there's really no such thing as "being nervous." You don't "get nervous," like it's some kind of flu virus that invades your body.

All feelings of nervousness come from within. You have a certain series of thought processes that you go through. You say things to yourself. (When you think thoughts like, "I would reject myself," it sets you up for failure!) You picture the chicks rejecting you. You feel tense in your body. And so on.

So what you can do to break this is to identify it for what it is.

Notice your negative thoughts and change them. Instead of thinking, "Oh my God, this chick is going to act like a bitch to me because I fumble my words"... think, "It's awesome that I'm making this approach, because if this chick rejects me, that means I've gotten her out of the way and I'm one step closer to finding my dream girl."

Notice where you feel tense in your body, and then let your muscles relax in those areas. For me, I feel tense in my jaw and face when I'm nervous. So when I relax my jaw and facial muscles, it alleviates a lot of my tension.

I'll wrap it up for you by concluding with this advice:

1) Be social for the sake of being social. Nothing else.

2) Remember that the only way to get over your fear is by doing the thing you fear. The more you do it, the easier it gets, because your attitude about the experiences will become, "Been there, done that, it's no big deal."

3) Recognize your bad thoughts and force yourself to replace them with good ones.

4) Ease the physical tension you have in your body when you feel nervous.

If this helped, then you will LOVE the incredible Alpha Male System. Click HERE to download your copy immediately.

Learn The Art Of Flirting to Increase Your Chance of Getting The Girl

Many people believe that the art of flirting is something that you either have or you don't. The art of flirting can be mastered by anyone. All it takes is practice.
The first thing to know about the art of flirting is that it s something, which can be done by anyone. It doesn't require you to have a sporty physique, or handsome, chiselled features. The art of flirting emphasises the qualities that are unique to you and teaches you how to make the most of these. In this way, the art of flirting begins from the inside.

So what can you do to make sure others know you are a fantastic person? You need to understand how to use non-verbal communication to flirt successfully. The eyes are the window to the soul and they are also an excellent starting point for learning how to flirt. Have you ever glanced around a room and then suddenly a stranger catches your gaze? What is it about you that caught and held someone's attention, even if only momentarily? People like people who are attracted to them. Flirting is a skill that harnesses the many different types of gaze. The routine of making eye contact, holding it, breaking it, and then engaging again is one of the most basic yet effective methods in your flirting arsenal. This lets the person know you want to flirt with them, and you'll learn how to determine if they are interested from the reaction they give. You can also take this to the next level to let them know you are having 'impure' thoughts about them! Tell them you are looking to 'devour' them by holding their gaze even longer and breaking only to glance up and down their body.

Eye contact is obviously crucial, but should be used along with other kinds of body language. Positioning your body in such a manner that shows you are open to communication is crucial to the art of flirting. Flirting is a combination of being able to read their signals whilst also revealing your intentions. There's no need to think of flirting as something which other people do. You just need to be taught the key skills and how to practice them. Then go out and have some fun!

Conversational Hypnosis - Hypnotic Mind Seduction System

This is it! Conversational Hypnosis! I couldn't believe this when I saw it. If you truly want to become the best alpha male you can be, then you need to get this.

I'd already touched on this in my previous posts here and here, but this is an intensive course that will allow you to really reap the rewards.

I ordered it the other week and have started putting into practice some of the techniques, and I'm already seeing the difference it's making in meetings at work and just the general way in which people are treating me.

Yes, it's quite an investment to make, but that's exactly what it is - an investment.

At least that's the way I view it. You wouldn't believe how much effort I put into telling myself why I shouldn't buy such and such a thing, when actually the rewards could be huge! And yet, I don't even shudder when I pump $100/week of fuel into the car...

Anyway - time to get my priorities right I thought. (Of course, I still need the gas...) So I placed my order and downloaded the package straight away. There is a phenomenal amount of information here which will probably take months to give it the time it deserves.

The deal clincher for me was the endorsement from Joe Vitale. This guy is 'The Master' when it comes to hypnotic language, and many of you may have already read his best selling book on Hypnotic Language. There's some great stuff in there about embedding commands and pre-suppositions. With Conversational Hypnosis though, it's all about the spoken word. 

I know I'm going to enjoy this, and I'll report back as I progress to Ninja-like status!

Something BIG is coming!

Guys - you are just gonna love what I'm revealing later this week. I only recommend stuff when I absolutely believe in it and it completely works, and this is definitely one of those things.

How does this sound?

• Have influence over anyone, and I mean anyone!
  
• Attract women like you never thought possible
  
• Compel people to do what you simply suggest
  
• Be top dog when it comes to negotiations
  
• Get people to buy more from you if you are in sales
  

Believe me, this will change your life. If you've ever been frustrated because you can't get people to do what you want, this will give you the skills to literally hypnotise anyone into following your lead.

I'll reveal more later this week. Grab my RSS feed to get notified immediately, as it really is one of those things you want to be first on board with.

NLP and Seducing Women

I'm going to start looking at NLP as a tool for improving your confidence and self-esteem, particularly in seducing women. I won't go into the details of NLP right now, but in terms of becoming an alpha male it can be a very powerful tool indeed and will change not only the way other people see you, but by using NLP you can seriously impact the way you see yourself too!

I'll explain more in later posts, but here's an examples of how we can embed commands...

"Have you ever seen something which you know you just have to have? Something you see and immediately you know that it has to be yours and you won't stop thinking about it until you have it? That feeling inside you get when it just penetrates you and says Look at Me, and you really want it?"

Ok, so that may sound somewhat contrived and obvious when you read it, but it's all in the delivery and having the confidence to get away with it.

Embedding commands into text and speech is a common device though, and people do pick up on the commands subconsciously. You can imagine it therefore obviously used a lot in advertising, internet marketing, landing pages, etc...

Anyway, that's just a taster for now. We'll explore more over the coming days, including how commands and phrases can also be anchored.

Learn How to get into Rapport with People

It's an obvious one, but the single most important thing you can do to improve the way people think about you is to learn to get into rapport with people. You probably even already know this one, but it serves as a useful reminder.

So, what is rapport? It's a way of describing the relationship between people (or groups of people) where there is a closeness, and they are communicating well (harmoniously). That said, it should be obvious why we want to try and get into rapport with people; so we can make more impact and have more influence on that person's thoughts.

There are various ways of "getting into rapport" with someone, the simplest and most common way is by mirroring the other person's body language and body movements.

Important Note: I said mirroring and not mimicking!

For example, let's say two people are sat opposite each other and are having a conversation. If the people are "in rapport" you would notice that their body positions generally mirror each other. For example, if one crosses their left leg over their right leg, the other person would subconsciously mirror this in their body position. This is something which happens naturally and if you go and do some people watching you can witness this type of mirroring in close friends and people who are attracted to each other. This all happens in the subconscious, and makes people feel at ease with the other person.

So, armed with this information you can work on doing this consciously. If there's someone you wish to get into rapport with, subtly mirror his/her body position and mannerisms. Refer to my note of caution earlier about ensuring you don't slip into mimicking the other person. That would come across as extremely false and your acquaintance would immediately pick up on this. No, it has to be subtle. Wait 20-30 seconds before shifting position, and don't necessarily mirror every single thing they do (if they start scratching their left knee-cap it is going to look very odd if you start doing the same! Unless you just happen to have an itch in the same position!)

I'll leave you with an exercise to try. Pop into your local bar and start chatting to a person you find attractive. Start to mirror their body language and see if you notice the difference in the way that they respond to you. Report back, and I'll set you more homework next time!