Learn How to get into Rapport with People

It's an obvious one, but the single most important thing you can do to improve the way people think about you is to learn to get into rapport with people. You probably even already know this one, but it serves as a useful reminder.

So, what is rapport? It's a way of describing the relationship between people (or groups of people) where there is a closeness, and they are communicating well (harmoniously). That said, it should be obvious why we want to try and get into rapport with people; so we can make more impact and have more influence on that person's thoughts.

There are various ways of "getting into rapport" with someone, the simplest and most common way is by mirroring the other person's body language and body movements.

Important Note: I said mirroring and not mimicking!

For example, let's say two people are sat opposite each other and are having a conversation. If the people are "in rapport" you would notice that their body positions generally mirror each other. For example, if one crosses their left leg over their right leg, the other person would subconsciously mirror this in their body position. This is something which happens naturally and if you go and do some people watching you can witness this type of mirroring in close friends and people who are attracted to each other. This all happens in the subconscious, and makes people feel at ease with the other person.

So, armed with this information you can work on doing this consciously. If there's someone you wish to get into rapport with, subtly mirror his/her body position and mannerisms. Refer to my note of caution earlier about ensuring you don't slip into mimicking the other person. That would come across as extremely false and your acquaintance would immediately pick up on this. No, it has to be subtle. Wait 20-30 seconds before shifting position, and don't necessarily mirror every single thing they do (if they start scratching their left knee-cap it is going to look very odd if you start doing the same! Unless you just happen to have an itch in the same position!)

I'll leave you with an exercise to try. Pop into your local bar and start chatting to a person you find attractive. Start to mirror their body language and see if you notice the difference in the way that they respond to you. Report back, and I'll set you more homework next time!